At the beginning of this year, I had a surge of energy and such a clear vision of what I wanted to achieve by the end of 2019 that I really scared myself. The intentions and goals that I've set at beginning of January 2019 were to represent women who are not a size 0, caucasian and with straight hair; I wanted to put myself more out there because I am starting to see more women like me, but there are still not enough out there portrayed in the media. In my opinion, there is still a big lack even in the blogger community of diversity and I wanted to do something about it
I've planned blogposts, met up with talented photographers and created amazing blog content for you ladies to read but at some point I got stuck, petrified and completely lost.
Now that I'm feeling better and I started sharing the pictures that I've taken, I realised that ultimately what stopped me from not sharing most of the content that I've prepared was fear of rejection. 

We as human beings are petrified of being rejected by the external world, by our family and friends. Even by ourselves.
In my opinion, as soon as we take different routes and we start acting differently from what we normal tend to do, we encounter opposition and fear of the unknown, of rejection and we go back to the old patterns of acting and thinking a certain way because we become comfortable again.
That doesn't mean that the old patterns are good for us. 
Most of the time we do try to change because the old patterns are becoming toxic and are not serving us anymore.

For the first time in a while, instead of being scared of what the future has in store for me or the feeling on not being able to control what the outcome of my situation was going to be, I let go. 
I'm learning to trust the insidious feeling of discomfort because that same feeling is helping me growing into an intelligent and whole woman. 
There are so many challenges that I need and want to face, but it gets easier if I starting living those  moments of change and not knowing what to do with a different and lighter attitude.

I cannot wait to share more of my adventures and thoughts that I've been having lately!

White Blouse and Skirt: both Primark
Shoes: old Zara

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